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.....misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms
strange and sweet, sorrow and solitude.
I've been watching all the fires on tv, I hope everybody back home in the valley is alright! Right now on KCAL9 they're showing the fires in Calabasas, it looks pretty bad.
4 woke up // wake me up from this dream
Guess who's now 18????

w00t w00t happy birthday to me.

and i'm so very tired, good night
10 woke up // wake me up from this dream
"There are no limits to the majestic future which lies before the mighty expanse of Canada." -Winston Churchill

( photographs galore from western canada )
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10 woke up // wake me up from this dream

Took some good ol' pictures recently...

"Nature has always had more power than education." --Voltaire.
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18 woke up // wake me up from this dream

[taken by moi yesterday morning @ 6:54am]

"The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so, but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people." -Emerson

i. love. nature.
i. like. sunrises.
i. like. sunsets.
i. love. orlando. bloom.
i. dislike. school.
i. am. weird.
i. love. you.

20 woke up // wake me up from this dream

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Hey all... too busy, been very hectic lately. I promise I will write a meaningful post some time. But for now I'll post some purdy pictures I took this last Saturday. I went to an Christmas party at my dad's friend's house at San Pedro. It's really a mansion overlooking the ocean, very beautiful. I hope you like the pictures!
6 woke up // wake me up from this dream

bigger + more picturesCollapse )

comments appreciated.
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This cannot be....


Where did the summer go?


Bleh... need to go make the most of the remainder of the summer....

Oh I have some pictures taken by yours truly...

P.S. What are cool birthday ideas for a few friends that won't cause me to go broke?

(note: some comments are written as anonymous but show someone's userpic because i was trying to transfer comments from my old journal to this new journal)

Current Mood: distressed distressed
Current Music: Linkin Park - In the end

6 woke up // wake me up from this dream

Please don't wash my footprints away from your heart...


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(note: some comments are written as anonymous but show someone's userpic because i was trying to transfer comments from my old journal to this new journal)

Current Mood: relaxed relaxed
Current Music: Christina Vidal - Take Me Away (Freaky Friday sountrack)

10 woke up // wake me up from this dream
Don't worry, you and I will be together soon. And if you look up from where you are, we see the same moon....

P.S. I made an Orlando Bloom community: orlandoluvsme. Go head on over and join because you know you want to.
1 woke up // wake me up from this dream
Okay I don't remember much of what happened to me so far but I do remember:
Thursday: Hang out with friends @ mall, saw Freaky Friday (which was surprisingly a very good movie and Chad Michael Murray is hott. I thought it was gonna be a stupid and corny movie, but I highly recommend it.
(Click here to see my friend Tiff's account of the day cuz I'm lazy to write about it).
Friday: Shopping @ mall, bought a cute top/black tie and a cute demin hat
Saturday: Catalina w/family:

get deeper into the water (10 more pics!)Collapse )

Current Mood: bouncy bouncy
Current Music: Queen - Bohemian Rapdosy

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So I got a little camera crazy....

7 more inside......Collapse )
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Dwelve unto the depths of my mind and tell me what you find...

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4 more pics. . . .Collapse )

Current Mood: sleepy sleepy

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playing around with my camera....

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Current Mood: complacent complacent
Current Music: ataris - boys of summer ]

2 woke up // wake me up from this dream
Veneers. Peer pressure.

It’s funny how nobody is never happy the way they are or feel they have to change themselves.

Girls with curly hair attempting to straighten it. Straight haired girls getting perms. Light skinned girls basking in the sun to become darker. Darker skinned girls getting their skin bleached to become lighter. Guys and girls alike altering the coloring of their hair. Many girls’ faces hidden behind a heavy mask of makeup.

I believe that deep down inside, most of today’s teenagers are all the same. That seemingly confident boy or girl spins a web of lies about their self to appear more “macho.” Mostly everyone, myself included, fabricates some sort of veneer or “false front” at times. Maybe to cover up an insecure and confused inner self? Many people pretend to be somebody they aren’t in order to feel accepted. But isn’t it amusing that since most people have that mentality, everybody becomes someone they aren’t.

And I know from my own experience, this is all too true. It’s evident everywhere. When I was younger, I remember not wanting to feel left out about not owning some kind of toy so I lied and said I owned the toy. That same principle occurs today. People make up things or say they’ve been to places or done this or that, when they really haven’t, to somehow make themselves feel better or more respected by peers.

Many people are afraid to say what they truly believe and think for fear of what others may say. A probable situation: a group of people is teasing a poor victim and in your mind, you disagree with what the rest of the group is doing. Chances are, you may keep quiet and not do anything or go along with the rest of the group. But the enlightening aspect…probably everybody in the group is thinking the same as you but nobody is really forceful and confident enough to make an effort. Or another likely occurrence: you are kind of interested in so-and-so but so-and-so is not the best-looking, etc. and will lower your reputation. So when others tantalize so-and-so, you play along and do nothing to defend so-and-so but feel guilty inside. [That scene from ‘A Walk to Remember’ comes to mind. Landon blows of Jamie in front of his friends in front of the lockers, etc…(don’t want to spoil it for those of you who haven’t seen it though…lol)]. Goes to show how extremely influential peer pressure is.

Brainwashing. Prejudice. Reputations. Judgments.

Brainwashing is an interesting concept. If a friend continually tells you not to like this person, etc. you usually psyche your mind to do what that friend says. It’s a shame at times because you did not allow yourself to formulate your own opinion about that person, you just relied on your friend’s opinion.

Prejudice and reputations are simply evil and way too powerful. If you hear something bad about someone before you meet him/her, much related to brainwashing, your mind is already pre-biased before giving the person a chance to reveal who they really are. Some stubborn people hold onto their prejudice so strongly that nothing can deter them from it. Reputations are a fragile thing, just like trust. One false move and a reputation is ruined or a trust is permanently scarred. I think everyone is allowed to make his or her own mistakes and learn from them. So maybe a girl was used by a boy and then dumped. I personally believe people have no right to brand her and judge her as a so-called “slut.” So that was something shitty that happened, maybe it was somewhat her fault, but why the need for a derogatory attitude toward her?

Innocence. Being a kid.

That’s the thing with growing up. We learn more things but possibly lose sight of who we really are. As younger kids, we don’t know much about the world so we are carefree with little worries about anything. You look in the mirror. Who are you looking at? Sometimes the one looking back at you is a total stranger. You cannot recall who you are any longer. You are so wrapped up in your “false front” that this mask conquers you and the innocent true self is almost obliterated. Underneath that makeup is an already beautiful youthful face.

It’s so very true that if everybody in the world were sincerely themselves- no pretending, no hiding behind artificial exteriors and egos- that the world would be a much more healthier, happier, and better place. I know most people really want to be themselves but they cannot bring themselves to. It takes some effort and guts to be assertive enough to get your own genuine voice heard.

But no matter how much you have repressed that pure and lighthearted child, that wonderful face, or that earnest and real personality- it’s still present and alive inside, no matter how minute it may be.

Take a look in the mirror again. Smile. There’s someone in there just yearning to be rediscovered. Someday, I hope we can all find ourselves again.

[AN: I was writing this late yesterday and just saved it. It makes sense to me but I have no clue if it makes sense to anybody else, so sorry if it doesn’t!]

(note: some comments are written as anonymous but show someone's userpic because i was trying to transfer comments from my old journal to this new journal)

Current Mood: thoughtful thoughtful
Current Music: simple plan - i'm just a kid

4 woke up // wake me up from this dream
Love is a precious gift straight from the heart.
Loving another individual is loving them completely, for what and who they are.
They don't need to do anything for you to love them, you accept them fully.
You accept their shortcomings and tap into their emotions and vibes.
You know the other individual as well as yourself. You know them better than they know theirself.
You don't need to be doing anything with each other to have fun, just being together feels right.
Even comfortable silence, where you know what each other is thinking, is a beautiful thing.
They are always on your mind somehow.
When you are with them, you are a whole different person- somehow more alive.
You miss them when they are gone.
When you are with them, you let just a little of your own indentity get lost into them.

Love is a wonderful, dangerous, crazy, and beautiful thing.
An indescribable feeling- only felt.

Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: NSync - Giddy Up

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